If You Just Can’t Face Another Year
If the thought of a New Year makes you want to cry, please keep reading.
No, I'm not going to try to cheer you up.
Or "Rah Rah" you into a forced feeling of optimism.
Instead, I'm going to ask you to do something honest.
I'm going to ask you to feel your sorrow and allow the loss.
Because there's WISDOM in darkness, and this quote (by Martha Beck) says it better than I ever could:
" Darkness is a necessary condition for life. In darkness, plants germinate. In darkness, we grew fingers and toes. In darkness our wounds heal, our brains solve problems, our hearts slowly transmute grief into compassion."
I can verify this. In these last few days of 2021, I've been going over the lows and highs of the year—the joys, the accomplishments, the things I need to improve upon. And just like that, I was hit by an unbreakable wave of sorrow.
I miss my brother. I miss my Dad and step-dad. I miss the way things used to be.
I miss the closeness of cuddly kids who are now young adults and need to be free to live their lives without me.
I'm sad about the division in the world—the confusion, the fear, the strange lack of humanity so many humans are displaying.
I tried to reason my way through it, but that only made it worse.
Using analysis to meet grief is like using a hammer to polish glass. It’s the wrong tool.
I had to open my heart to the pain. I had to find a willingness to just sit and feel the loss. This was the only thing that brought relief.
So, if you're having a first holiday season without someone you love, if you're feeling the pain of the world, if you're missing what used to be, or are sick and tired of life and just can't face another year . . .
Let the darkness take over. Cry, my darling. Grieve. Let yourself feel the sorrow.
Just please don't get stuck there! If you find you're not moving through the pain, please reach out—either to me or to someone you trust.
You're precious. And there's a healing power in your own heart.
There's also a new day right around the corner.
Sending you so much love,