I have a friend who agreed to be my guinea pig when I was just a newbie coach.
For years she let me try out new coaching techniques and tools with her.
One day, during a particularly difficult time in her life, she shared her self-observations with me over coffee.
"It's like my mind is smoking 6 packs of cigarettes a day," she told me.
Have you ever heard it said better?
Our mental health often depends upon the quality of our thinking—what we believe and where we place our focus. If we're not taught how to witness our thoughts (and pull our attention from unhelpful mental activity) we can slip into unconscious patterns.
That's when the saboteurs take over.
extreme either/or thinking (a focus on polar opposites which blocks out the full range of possibility)
learned helplessness (a mistaken belief that we're powerless even when we're fully capable)
perfectionism (an attempt to avoid the pain of criticism through unachievable standards which creates chronic anxiety)
controlling behaviour (trying to control circumstances and other people in order to feel loved or safe)
These are just a few examples of the kind of mind-mistakes that create anxiety and form unhealthy habits. Like smoking, they offer temporary relief but harm your mental and emotional well-being.
To weaken their hold, you've got to strengthen 3 very important mind muscles:
Your observation muscle (necessary to help you recognize when a mind-mistake or saboteur is operational.)
Your self-guidance muscle (helps you shift out of unhealthy thinking so you can make new choices.)
Your SAGE muscle (strengthens your connection to your higher functioning brain and to the wise, creative, compassionate self at your core.)
Notice. Guide. Connect.
The more you practice shifting over to Sage Brain (and operating from a place of presence and deeper connection) the more content and confident you'll feel.
My friend has discovered this for herself.
Now when she realizes she's not in a healthy mindset, she uses methods that feel right and fun for her (like dancing or riding her bike to her favourite cafe) to get back into a better feeling place.
I'm guessing you probably have some great go-to practices of your own.
Still, when life turns up the stress, your brain may still default to survival strategies of the past. Should that happen, don't be hard on yourself.
It's just time to work on those 3 core muscles!
Keep interrupting old habits by pulling focus from your chain-smoking mind and guide your attention to something GOOD.
Anything that gets you out of your head and into your heart will work.
Repetition matters, so do this again and again and again.
This kind of mental fitness MATTERS. No, it won't make you look better in a swimsuit, but it will give you something worth all the time and effort.
A sense of ease with yourself and true peace of mind.
Sending you so much love,
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