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Say Yes To Necessary Pain

When one of the winners of the reality show Alone was asked what skill had allowed him to beat his competitors, he said,

“My ability to suffer.”

I’ve been pondering this.

I'll admit that pain is inevitable here on planet Earth, but suffering?

Nope. I don’t believe in that.

And if you’ve ever worked with me, you know I’m committed to reducing it wherever I can.

It’s why I’m a coach.

Because most of our suffering is completely unnecessary.

  • It's caused by our thinking.

  • By our interpretations.

  • By our stories from the past we keep dragging out to justify our misery.

Many of us are doing things we hate without questioning it. We're following someone else's rules without challenging them. We're settling for a life of dull, grey porridge instead of dumping that crap out, getting creative, and cooking up something we actually enjoy.

Even in these current times where everything seems daunting, we can live a life that feels good.

If you haven’t considered this, please do. Because tolerating unnecessary pain isn’t intelligent.

And yet . . .

Being able to welcome and withstand discomfort is an important skill to develop.

The journey toward your heart’s calling will require it.

I'm talking about the NECESSARY pain required to move toward a life of meaning and purpose.

Because let me tell you (from personal experience) following your own North Star involves doing HARD things.

Just ask the contestants of Alone.

  • They ate things that live under rocks—like slimy slugs and eel-like fish and MICE.

  • They walked or worked in wet clothes for hours.

  • They lived with constant hunger.

  • They went without sleep to keep predators away from their shelter.

  • They endured loneliness and homesickness that almost broke them.

  • They battled a bitter cold that went straight to the bone.

Why? Because they CHOSE to. Because feeling the discomfort of these unwanted things unlocked the door to something they really, really wanted.

In this light, the willingness to feel necessary pain is a sacred opportunity to know yourself.

There's a future version of YOU calling your name. Can you hear it? In order for you to join her (or him, or them) you'll need to develop in areas you're lacking.

Which means every situation you find yourself in can be your arena for personal growth.

Necessary pain hurts, but in a good way—like how your muscles feel after a great workout.

If it feels like SUFFERING, then oh my darling, CALL me!

Because something's gone terribly wrong.

Sending you so much love,


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