I was just listening to Borrowing Brilliance by David Kord Murray when I heard something that made me sprint to my computer so I could tell you all about it.
And guess what I’ve got for you, cupcake!
A big piece of juicy EVIDENCE!
The “I-told-you-so” kind of proof that you dish out to your kids.
Because David confirmed something I’ve known for a while.
Our true seat of power has everything to do with where we put our attention.
Let me explain.
David tells a story of when a friend talked him into climbing Mount McKinley, one of the biggest mountains in the world.
Pretty exciting right?
Well . . . not if you suffer from a case of Vertigo that turns your head into a Tilt-a-whirl.
Which was David’s exact situation.
But did he chicken out at the last minute and fake a knee injury (as I would have?)
Because David actually wanted to climb that mountain—so he decided to solve his Vertigo by searching for the root cause of it.
Which meant asking a lot of questions and experimenting in high (but not toohigh) places.
And guess what he discovered.
Vertigo is a matter of misplaced focus!
When he stood beside a cliff, he became fixated on the empty space beside him, causing him to move toward it.
(We subconsciously move toward whatever we focus on)
To counteract this teensy movement toward the edge, his body would unconsciously pull him back to safety.
And the alternating movement made him dizzy and disoriented.
David realized he was going to have to TRAIN HIS MIND to stay focused on the mountain and not the void below.
And guess how he did it.
He walked on a suspended ladder in his backyard over and over again—consciously focusing on the ladder and not the ground.
And (spoiler alert) it worked! He was able to climb McKinley with his friend, using DELIBERATE FOCUS to keep himself safe and comfortable all the way up.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
Creating a joyful life is all about where you place your focus
And we know this, don’t we?
Just think back to a time when you first fell in love.
Wasn’t it amazing? All you could see were each other’s good qualities.
In fact, you talked and talked and TALKED about those qualities to your long-suffering friends.
But after awhile, (six months, am I right?) you started noticing his fondness for “Jerry Seinfeld” sneakers.
And he suddenly realized how loudly you sucked those curiously strong peppermints . . .
That’s when things started to turn.
Because once you start focusing on the abyss instead of the mountain, the journey’s not as much fun anymore.
The truth is, there are positive and negative aspects to everything in life.
Abraham-Hicks calls this “two ends to every stick”
And this presents us with a choice.
Which end do you focus on?
Wanted or unwanted?
The answer seems obvious. Wanted, of course!
And yet . . . it’s really not that easy.
I’ve been practicing with this for years now and I still have to drag my mind away from the yuck and the ick.
My brain’s like an over-eager dog, intent on sniffing every butt-hole in life.
Pulling it away is difficult.
Because what we focus on grows.
So if your mate is irritating you right off the edge of your cliff . . .
You can start practicing this stuff right now.
Because you do have a choice, my lovely.
And if you've chosen to stay in this relationship, then you can also choose what to focus on while you're there.
So what's it going to be?
Harmony or discord?
(Please know I'm not telling you to push your negative feelings down)
I'm only suggesting that you listen to them.
Because more often than not, negative emotions come as a response to WHATEVER WE'RE LOOKING AT.
If you want to enjoy being with your beloved, then maybe it's time to set your eyes on something other than his (or her) short comings.
Ready to try it?
Good. Just answer these questions:
What is your partner doing RIGHT?
What do you appreciate about him/her?
How would you defend him/her if someone else was complaining about them the way your mind is?
In short, what do you want to see—the bottomless pit or the top of the mountain?
I'll be honest. I don't have this whole "love thing" figured out either.
But I'm willing to practice while I'm here. And I've noticed that the more I turn my head toward the scenery I like, the happier I feel and the more fun I have.
And isn't that the whole point?
To enjoy ourselves along the way?
Of course it is!
So get out there on the great path of life and start deliberately training your focus.
You can DO this, girlfriend!
Just remember . . .
You go where your attention goes.
Sending you so much love,