Because That's What It's Going to Take

January 1, 2017

 

Just for a moment, pretend you’re a caterpillar.    

 

Now try to visualize your biggest caterpillar dream.  

 

YOU WANT TO BECOME A BUTTERFLY

 

Pretty big leap of the imagination, right? Because, let’s face it: 

 

You can’t fly.
 

Which means something has to change.

 

Take a moment to think about what that means.

 

You will have to give up WHO YOU ARE in order to become who you want to be.  
 

Caterpillars do this, you know.

 

They get to a point where they literally outgrow their skin.

 

It's called the full-fed state.

 

That's when they knit a little cocoon around themselves and dissolve into goo.

 

GOO!  Isn't that amazing?

 

The caterpillar lets go of everything about it that is caterpillar so it can become something else.

 

And while it’s melting down into a cellular soup, (it actually digests itself) something special inside starts to create a butterfly.

 

And whether you call it science, or the force of creation, or the magic of nature, this "special something" carries the genetic blueprints needed to re-arrange all that digested material into a beautiful creature with wings.

 

Simply put, an inner intelligence knows what to do.
 

But let's get back to YOU for a moment.

 

What do you want most for yourself this year?

 

What's YOUR biggest dream?

 

Maybe you’re an engineer who wants to become an artist.

 

Or a stay-at-home-Mom who wants to start a business.

 

Maybe you’re carrying 30 lbs of extra weight around and your biggest dream is to be 30 lbs lighter than you are right now.

 

Maybe you just want to be nicer to your kids.

 

Or, maybe, (if you're like most of the people I coach) you can't even put a name to it.

 

It's just a restlessness, a yearning for something more.

 

If that's the case, I've got news for you.

 

Restlessness, yearning, and dissatisfaction are all indicators that in some area of your life, you've reached your full-fed state.
 

This is a very good thing.

 

We're meant to keep growing, my friend.

 

And that uncomfortable, too tight, "doesn't-fit-anymore" feeling is a necessary requirement for the change your heart craves.

 

Without it, you'd stay right where you are.

 

No one actually wants to take the journey to transformation.

 

Deep down, we instinctively know that saying yes to change means giving something up.

 

And to the limited part of the human brain (aka: ego) this can feel really, really scary.

 

See that green arrow above?

 

THAT’S the journey part.

 

That's the boat-trip you'll have to take to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

 

And somewhere along this line, you'll be asked to experience a death of your own.

 

Like the caterpillar, you'll need to let go of your current identity in order to activate your metaphorical wings.

 

Which means releasing: 

  • your idea of who you think you are 

  • your coping mechanisms

  • your favourite excuses,

  • your valued (but limiting) beliefs,

  • your memories of victimization that you still use as an excuse for your actions.

  • your dependence on the approval of others

I'm sorry, but its all got to go.

 

And this can feel like chaos and grief and loss.

 

Melting down into GOO isn’t comfortable.

 

Caterpillars surrender to this process fully, but humans (who are hard-wired to avoid pain and discomfort) tend to fight it with everything they've got.

 

Which is a terrible shame.

 

Kicking and screaming turns the miracle of metamorphosis into a misery.

 

Which brings us back to that daunting green arrow . . .

 

The minute you enter the waters of transformation, you enter the in-between, or the Liminal Phase.

 

Suddenly, you’re not in your safe, familiar role.

 

And you’re not in your new life yet, either.

 

You’re on the high seas of change, with the waves of uncertainty rolling around you, and when you look for comfort, all you see is the void.

 

It’s hard to have faith then—when land is nowhere in sight.
 

This is when you’ll be tempted to quit and go back to your old life.

 

Not because it’s better there.

 

(Because you actually know it’s not.)

 

But simply because it’s familiar.

 

The unknown is so terribly scary.

 

But if you can summon up what A Course In Miracles calls "a little willingness", something amazing will happen.

 

You'll send out a call to the Divine.

 

That's when you'll be picked up by the great hands of Love and carried over those dark waters.  
 

Your real destination isn't the new business, or the new body or the new bank account.

 

Those things are just the bow on the package.

 

Your REAL destination is the discovery of your own truth—something your rational, verbal mind (ego) can never know.

 

You're not separate from all that is. You're never alone. And everything you want already exists inside of you.
 

Of course, you don't have to believe this.

 

Faith isn't necessary. 

 

You don't even have to be "good".

 

But you WILL need to stop thrashing, my love.

 

You'll need to relax, and allow and let go.

 

You'll need to pull your attention from "out there" to the inner realm of your own being.

 

You'll need to embrace all your dark corners.

 

You'll need to love yourself just as you are. 

 

You'll need to open your heart and keep it open, no matter what.

 

And you'll do it, I know you will!

 

Because honey, that's what it's going to take.

 

 

 

Sending you so much love,

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
PS. Sometimes change isn't a choice. Sometimes it's thrust upon you in a sudden, shocking, way. And since I believe everything in this life is the soul's work revealing itself, I also acknowledge that on a spiritual level, there's an alchemy that can (and will) turn your suffering into consciousness. I know from personal experience that pain will transform you, if you surrender to it. So please, please, keep your heart open. Don't let it close and separate you from the flow of love that is constantly trying to reach you. Let your own inner teacher support and guide you through your heartbreak to the full life that is waiting. If you need help with this, please reach out. I would love to remind you of your magnificence.
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