As much as I believe in the power of focus (and where we choose to place our attention) my coaching practice is not about positive thinking.
 
It’s about examining thoughts and limitations that cause emotional pain.
 
Which means allowing ALL your emotions to come to the surface so they can be felt and understood. 
 
If you want to slap a smiley face over your feelings to avoid discomfort, then I’m not your girl.
 
And if you’re looking for someone to tell you what to do?
 
Nope.  Sorry.  Don’t do that either.
 
Because I don’t know what’s best for you. 
 
All I can do is help you get to your own clear answers and teach you some of the vital life-skills they never taught you in school.

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• like how to recognize mental mistakes

• or how to instantly overcome feelings of helplessness

• or how to know what your emotions are really telling you

 

Some people think that a coach is just a paid friend—someone they can hire to listen, advise and sympathize.
 
Let me say (very loudly) I’M NONE OF THAT.
 
Yes, I’ll listen.  I’ll listen to you with every part of my body.  
 
But when we’re in a session together, you don’t want me there as a friend.
 
Why?
 
Because our closest friends often have the same blind spots we have.

 

They’re invested in our stories as much as we are. 
 
A friend soothes and says, ”Oh, honey.  That’s horrible.  I can’t believe they treated you that way.”
 
And that just keeps you hooked up to the victim-intravenous another day longer.
 
As a coach, it’s my job to poke and prod you a bit.
 

• Why are you using this an excuse not to feel good?

• What pain are you trying to avoid?

• What do you not want to admit to yourself?

 
Paying someone to sympathize and agree with you will do nothing but keep you stuck in your story.
 
And you want to get out of that shit-pile.  Am I right?
 
As a coach, I'm not here to act as your personal cheerleader. 
 
Yes, I’ll pick up the pom-poms every time you make a breakthrough or take a step in the direction that serves your soul. 
 
I’ll jump up and down and clap my hands and say things like “Hurray!” when you make a connection that helps you get back into your own position of power.
 
But I’m never going to yell “Rah! Rah! Rah!” if you’re heading straight off a cliff. 
 
If your thought-process is screwy and causing you pain, I’m going to challenge your stories.
 
And trust me, that can feel uncomfortable.
 
It’s anything BUT cheer-leading.
 
And yet, it's the only thing that WORKS.

 

Life is messy and painful and complicated. 

 

People fall down and get hurt.
 
But there’s a big difference between clean pain and dirty pain. 
 
Clean pain is meant to be felt and grieved.    It’s the sad stuff that happens that you have no control over.  Like when your sweetheart falls in love with someone else.  Or your grandma dies.  Or your best friend gets cancer.
 
That kind of pain hurts like holy hell, but it feels real and honest.  Like a sharp, sterilized surgical blade cutting straight to the core of who you are.   
 
Dirty Pain feels like a rusty razor.
 
Dirty Pain is the unnecessary suffering we cause ourselves.

 

It’s the unexamined victim stories we tell on a daily basis without even realizing it.
 

• No one loves me.

• I’ll never get what I want

• Men can't be trusted

• I’m too fat

• I’m bad

• I’m not enough

 
This is the pain that keeps us small and sucks away our joy.
 
I know.  I’ve had a lifetime of it. 
 
And the only thing that gave me relief was challenging my own mental mindset.

That’s why I became a coach.
 
To help you lessen your own suffering so you can get on with creating something of value and meaning.

 

If you're ready to jump right in, CLICK HERE.

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If you'd like to get to know me better, I offer a FREE 30 minute consultation over Skype or by telephone.

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Just click on the button and set up an appointment so we can talk!