Coaching Q & A
How do you work? Coaching sessions take place by phone or Skype in the comfort of your own home (or wherever you can speak freely without distraction or interruption) so location is never a problem. Long distance fees may apply depending on your location and Skype sessions are recommended if this is a concern. If you live outside of North America, Skype sessions are definitely the way to go! If you live in Calgary and would prefer a face-to-face, I can make that happen.
Who do you work with? I work with self-aware women (and men) who are dedicated to doing their inner work and are ready to commit to creating an authentic life that allows room for THEM (which includes getting in touch with their feelings and prioritizing rest, joy and fun). Most of my clients were taught to look outside themselves to get their needs met and have spent a lifetime searching for love, approval and security through external sources instead of developing a strong relationship with their essential self. If you’re tired of keeping the peace at the cost of your own happiness, and want to become your most amazing self (whole—not perfect!) then I’ve got the tools that can help you get there. My criterion? You MUST be willing to become conscious of your inner experience. Because yes, love—the things that are repeatedly showing up in your life are often a reflection of your own thoughts and limiting beliefs.
How would you define your style? My style is challenging but compassionate. If you want to go deep, then I’m the coach for you! I don’t spend a lot of time on topic. I focus on the INNER process rather than the external circumstances that are often beyond your control. If you want results, we’ve got to drill down to the issue. And that’s what I do best. I’m like a truffle pig, sniffing out limiting thoughts so you can to get the truth of your problem or pain. It may be annoying sometimes, but you’ll love me for it! I promise.
What actually happens in a coaching session? Every session is different. I coach in an intuitive way—staying in the present moment and responding to what arises from an authentic, honest place. However, I do have a method to get things going and many times it looks like this:
You tell me what sucks—without censorship. (Yes, you get to swear).
I listen, and not just with my ears, but with my whole being.
I tell you what I'm really hearing and what I intuitively sense.
You tell me where I'm wrong (if I am).
That gets us into the heart of it and gives us a foundation to work from. You get to lay everything out so you can really "see" the issue clearly. From there, we'll discuss all the choices available to you.
The main thing to know is that we're partners in this! Which means we're equals. I may have more knowledge and training when it comes to guiding you through the emotional terrain, but I'm NOT the expert on your life. YOU ARE. My job is to help you get back to the voice of truth and wisdom inside you, but it's always your responsibility to tell me when I'm going too fast or when you're getting uncomfortable.
As for the actual mechanics of a session, I use many different tools and methods to help my clients do the deep, transformative work in their lives. Here are a few examples:
Clarifying Exercises—you'll be amazed at the lightbulbs that pop on when powerful questions are asked.
Thought Inquiry—we'll definitely be questioning any thoughts or stories that limit you.
Boundary work—understanding what's yours and what's not yours is a fundamental part of my coaching.
Metaphor work—the rational part of the brain is an incredible tool, but when it starts using YOU, it's a problem. Analytical thinking was never meant to run the whole show and can actually be a hinderance to personal growth. Since most of your answers lie in your subconscious mind, we'll use metaphor work to access the wealth of knowledge that goes beyond your logical mind.
Grounding Exercises—mindfulness connects you to your inner wisdom and anchors you in the present moment where all your solutions are. We'll start every session with a grounding exercise to support you throughout the coaching process.
Mind-Body Work—yes, this means I'm going to have you FEEL your emotions so you can strengthen your inner awareness and hear the messages of your body.
When appropriate, I'll also share examples from my own experience, passing on the same valuable insights that helped me create my authentic, happy (imperfect) life. Mostly, I listen and probe. You might not always love the process, but I promise you'll love the results.
What's your refund policy? It's very simple. I don't offer refunds. You're making a commitment to show up for yourself and having a back-out plan is not beneficial. If you're serious about doing this work, you'll make your sessions a top priority.
even if you're tired after a long day of work and don't feel like it
even if friends are in town
even if you're on vacation
EVEN IF YOUR CAT DIES
Because you're smart enough to know that when Life get's really busy or stressful or rocky, that's the EXACT time you need support from someone who can help you get clear and clean so you can navigate through the mess with true wisdom.
Yes, things come up. They do for me too. Of course you can reschedule. I may have to as well. But I won't ever let you shuffle yourself to the bottom of the deck. If you have to leave coaching to handle a family emergency, you'll have all my support. Your sessions will be here when you get back. But if you just get cold feet? If you just want to skip out and watch Netflix? Sorry Lovely, that means you miss out.
What's your personal philosophy? I believe that Life is here to support and guide us—that the Universe is conscious and loving and always leading us to our greatest good. Yes, terrible things happen. I'm not here to put any shiny stickers over top of that reality. But I believe we're on this physical plane for a reason.
Earth seems to be the place to go if you want to inhabit a separate body and engage in an adventure of choice and free-will. It's a great place to sample a colourful smorgasbord of contrasts—hot and cold, bitter and sweet, light and dark, good and bad, wanted and unwanted.
Variety is the main attraction and from what I've learned, it's essential for growth and our own inner evolution.
Which means there’s value in painful experiences.
Especially when we learn how to transform the perspective of victim into a position of personal power.
We're all born with unique abilities and talents of expression, no matter what our current circumstances or past history.
The mind-state of helplessness is learned. And I personally love that we can train ourselves out of that state by connecting to gratitude, choice, and a realm of support we can't see with our physical eyes.
What are your credentials? In 2007 I discovered the work of Martha Beck and found myself profoundly moved by her personal experience with upheaval and loss. Her book Finding Your Own North Star helped me navigate through a painful divorce and laid the groundwork for the life I have now. Her books Expecting Adam and Leaving the Saints had such an impact on me that in 2012 I went through an intensive training program with her and became one of her certified coaches.
Since then, I've worked passionately to expand on my training and have studied the work of (and taken classes or workshops held by):
Steven Hayes and Russ Harris (ACT—Acceptance Commitment Therapy)
Peter Lavine (Healing Trauma)
Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems)
Les Fehmi (Open Focus Brain)
Karla McLaren (The Language of Emotions)
Byron Katie (The Work)
The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM)
Aldo R. Pucci (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy)
I'm also a member of the Life Time Learning Program with Martha Beck and regularly update my training and refresh my toolbox with the latest and greatest—which keeps me in a (happy) state of continual learning.
I'm deeply influenced by the work of Gary Zukav, Eckhart Tolle, Abraham Hicks, A Course In Miracles, and the brilliant work of my own dear coach, teacher and friend, Jaya the Trust Coach.
Why should I hire you over another coach? You're the only one who can truly answer that question. There are hundreds (okay, thousands) of great coaches doing good work in this world, so I understand why choosing one may feel daunting. However, I believe in an organizational force—a higher, guiding power—that's leading you to all that you need for your evolution. If you've found me, then I suspect I may be a part of your journey, just like so many of my teachers (friends, mentors) were a part of mine. And I believe that once you look through my website and talk with me over the phone, you'll know whether I'm a good fit for you or not. BOTTOM LINE: I'm not here to sell you anything. I have specialized, valuable skills and a unique approach that will either resonate with you or not. And if they do? Then it will be my greatest joy to serve you.
Why a Consciousness Coach? What does that even mean? Many of us are completely unaware of our inner process—the childhood conditioning and old patterns of thought that are running the show. We're not aware of the beliefs that keep yanking us back into fear and limitation. We see the EFFECTS (lack, unhappiness, chaos, relationship problems, etc) but not the CAUSE and we mistakenly try to control external factors in an attempt to feel better and get the security and love that we crave.
Ultimately, this doesn't work and keeps us running on an endless treadmill of DOING which leads to exhaustion and burn-out. That's usually when Life gives us a wake up call. As a coach, I help my clients answer that call consciously—digging deeper so they can get to the root cause of their problems and change their lives through self-awareness.
What's the difference between your style of coaching and therapy?
I deal with everyday human problems instead of neurotic symptoms or psychological illness. Therapy takes people from unhealthy to healthy. Coaching takes people from a healthy state to higher levels of fulfilment and happiness. But the biggest difference with my style of coaching is this: I don’t spend a lot of time analyzing the stories from your past because doing so strengthens the grip of those old stories. Instead, I work with you to develop the skills to create what you want TODAY.
Note: Coaching is not meant to replace Therapy and is not adequate treatment for serious mental health issues.
I'd love to work with you but I can't afford it. Will you lower your rates for me? Maybe. There are certainly cases where I do this. But first, I'd like you to consider something. I've changed my entire life in order to become the coach I am today. I've invested time, energy, and most of my savings. I've sold possessions, worked two jobs, turned down fun events with friends, purchased books and course material (instead of the pretty dress or fabulous new shoes) because this work is so important to me.
I'm part of a LIFETIME learning program which means I'm continually building on my knowledge, experience and training so I can help women just like you become incredibly strong and successful.
So while I appreciate your situation and will absolutely consider your case, I want you to ask yourself a quick question:
"What will I have to give up in order to make my happiness and success a top priority?"
If the answer is going without the latest I-Pad, then you already have your answer. But if your answer is giving up food, or not paying your rent . . . then we can talk.
Are coaching sessions confidential? Yes. I don't talk about my clients with anyone. I may use examples of the issues my clients face and the hurdles they've overcome, but I don't use names or specific details that would ever give your identity away and I'm committed to keeping your contacts, information and records confidential.