The (real) Magic of Nonverbal Communication
Did you ever have a situation where a good, old-fashioned conversation just didn’t work?
Where words only seemed to make matters worse?
Well, the truth is, we communicate with people on many different levels and sometimes, verbal communication ISN’T the most effective way to solve touchy issues with our loved ones or co-workers.
Sometimes you need a good dose of magic!
I’m not talking about fairy-tales or pixie dust.
I'm talking about something very real and very powerful . . .
Your own core energy expression.
That's right. I'm talking about the part of you that can be sensed by other people.
We're like radiant beings, broadcasting our inner state out to the world.
And the people who are closest to us pick up on this energy more readily. In fact, they end up unconsciously mirroring back to us what we’re projecting.
Which can be downright annoying!
Because if you’re worried about something, they will often respond by doing (or saying) things that amplify the worry.
Often in very strange and irritating ways.
But when you think about it, that’s really great feedback to have!
Weird or upsetting behavior in the people around us can show us where we’re “off”. Then all we have to do is adjust our own inner mind-set and voila!
Others will pick up on this change and the situation will start to shift on its own.
NO WORDS NECESSARY.
I’ll give you an example.
When I put my condo up for sale, a lot of other people on my block did the same.
During an economic downturn.
Suddenly, I was competing with a lot of newer, larger condos that were offering many things I couldn’t.
Like a full builder’s warranty. And a garage. And more square footage.
Deep down, I was worried that my condo wouldn’t sell.
And guess what!
Every time I saw my friends and family, they would talk incessantly about how impossible the real estate market was.
My friend's husband actually waved newspaper articles in my face and told me horror stories of people that had been trying to sell for years and had ended up losing most of the equity they had in their home.
That’s when I realized that I had to start sending out strong, calm energy when I was around my people.
Because the truth was, they were picking up on the fact that I was worried. Which made THEM worry. Which scared me more, which scared THEM more.
Do you see how this goes?
I realized I had to get calmer about the sale of my home.
I started relaxing about it, trusting that the right person would be drawn to my place if I focused on a successful sale instead of scary stories from the media.
I purposely began to ignore all the FOR SALE signs around the city and started celebrating every SOLD sign I saw.
I made a decision that I’d be okay even if my condo didn’t sell. I’d just switch up my plans.
And trust myself.
This way of thinking gave me relief and I started to feel more solid and secure in my life.
And this is the key!!
As my own inner process changed, so did my body language.
Before long, I was emitting a more confident vibe. And within weeks, two things happened.
The people around me stopped talking about doom and gloom (and suddenly wanted to have fun instead)
A wonderful man named Peter (who rides a Moped and didn’t need a garage) looked at all the new condos on my street and felt they didn’t have enough character. He took one look at my place and put in an offer. And I got exactly the price that I wanted!!
We can’t control people or circumstances, but we CAN control our own leadership energy!
The way we feel can influence people’s behavior and draw to us the things that we want!
Here’s how you do it.
Acknowledge that you are sending out an energetic expression on all different topics.
Notice the feedback you are receiving from the people around you. Pay attention to the behaviour or “tics” that really bother you.
Ask yourself what they are reflecting back to you. What do you need to know?
Start cultivating a leadership energy on the issue that comes up. Which means finding a way to ease your own worry, anger, fear, resentment, prejudice, (fill-in-the blank). When YOU feel good, calm, easy, secure about _______________, then so will the people around you. They will literally “follow your lead”.
Recognize that the majority of any relationship happens inside your head. It’s true. We are constantly engaging with others in our imagination—fighting and arguing with them, judging them, wondering about them—and they’re picking up on this! You may be smiling to their face and acting all nicey-nicey in person, but if you’re complaining about them in your thoughts, then on some level, they are picking up on the incongruence and responding to it.
Start sending out energetic “messages” to the people you want to influence. Have a worried parent? Send them reassurance! (This is not as weird as it sounds. Because we are emitting energy, it doesn’t matter if we’re in the same room, or even city, as the people we want to influence or encourage. Why do you think prayer has been proven to help in the healing process?)
USE YOUR IMAGINATION!! Visualize the response or outcome you want. The brain responds to what we imagine and there is huge power in putting your focus on the solution instead of the problem. THIS IS WHERE YOU GET RESULTS! Ask athletes. They’ve been doing this for years.
Experiment with this and let me know how it goes!
I've been doing this for awhile now and I know that my own energy is a pretty powerful potion.
Some people say that it's just wishful thinking.
Or a trick of the mind, or a clever manipulation.
But I know for a fact that non-verbal communication is the real kind of magic that we were all born with.
So get out there and put it to good use.
Sending you so much love,