How to Get Out of the Spin Cycle
Before I became a coach, I was a decorator.
I like to say I went from Interior Design to INTERIOR Design.
And when I worked with people in their
homes, the design process always started with a conversation.
“What do you value? What matters most? What do you love?”
These questions helped my clients develop a “design-map” . . . something to guide them through the often overwhelming, chaotic process of creating something new.
Because it’s scary to start from scratch. To jump into the fray without direction.
And in the world of design, the possibilities are endless.
There are HUNDREDS of colours to choose from. There are tile samples and carpet swatches and light-fixtures and plumbing options—and we haven’t even talked about counter-tops yet!
It can be daunting your first time around.
Change one thing and the whole concept changes. Take one path and it cuts you off from another.
What if you make a mistake?
(Ahem! This is where your design-map comes in.)
Because you can’t make an informed decision until you listen to what your heart really wants.
Which is why I tell my clients (past and present) to go exploring.
I have them look at showhomes, and design magazines and Pinterest. I ask them to notice what they respond to. What makes their heart-bells ring?
The results become their design-map and when my clients follow it, they steer through the sea of choice with considerable ease.
I guess you could say I teach others to navigate by FEEL.
(Not that I’m saying the logical mind shouldn’t be a part of the decision process! Intuition and Intellect are meant to be partners, after all.)
It’s just that the mind is easily swayed.
It wanders off to listen to someone else discuss what’s on “trend” and suddenly it isn’t sure about that shade of green that you love. It listens to the experts talk about resale value and it begins to wonder if maybe that backsplash tile is a bit too “splashy.”
Which is why, inevitably, most of my clients start to second-guess themselves, looking away from their design-map to the guidance and opinion of others.
Do you like this colour? Should I go with hardwood or tile? Would you choose chrome fixtures or antique brass?
And once the merry-go-round starts turning, it can be hard to slow down.
Yes! Yes! Go with hardwood. It’s warmer and easier on the joints.
No! No! Don’t choose hardwood! What if you want to get a dog? What if a waterline breaks? What if someone wears high heels in the house?
They start looking at tile, hoping to avoid any mistakes. But there are so many options to consider . . .
Oh, you DON’T want ceramic! It’s got to be porcelain!
“Flagstone? Really? Hmmm. I like the marble . . .”
And then along comes a friend who mentions the horrors of grout—and suddenly they’re right back where they started.
Welcome to the Spin Cycle, folks!
When the mind is given too much control, we become vulnerable to the whirlwind of the thoughts that can pull us off course.
And the only cure for that is to get back to our map. Which means tuning into our bodies so we can feel our own truth. That’s when we start making choices we can happily live with.
It’s just a matter of taking one step at a time and repeating this question: “What feels good now?”
This? Or this?
If we stay centred, checking in with our own intuition, we’ll move forward.
(Have you figured out that we’re not talking about decorating anymore?)
Because we live in a time of incredible change and choice.
And if you’re not grounded in your own truth, the mind will have you going in circles.
The more you try to “figure” it out, the more the mind will continue to twirl.
So the next time you find yourself stuck in an endless cycle of thoughts . . .
Stop what you’re doing and BREATHE!
The breath is like an anchor to the mind. It can bring you back to stability.
And guess what. It’s easy! Just put your hand on your stomach and start taking big belly-breaths until you feel present.
(Mind-chatter dwells on either the past or the future)
Get firmly planted in the NOW, and ask yourself . . .
“What do I value? What matters most? What do I love?”
Write your answers down and put them in your pocket.
Then take a little step toward all those things you crave.
Let the voice of your heart lead the way . . .
And it won’t be long before you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
Sending you so much love,