How To Calm Your MONEY Fear
Hi Beautiful! Do you see that Lion? He represents your THOUGHTS. The horse, on the other hand, is your nervous system—and right now it's in a full state of alarm.
All those feelings—the dry mouth, the racing heart, the clenched muscles, the anxiety, the terror, the rising panic—those are your body's reaction to DANGER.
It's you, responding to your own scary thoughts.
Pay attention for a moment and you'll probably hear a version of this in your head:
I'll always be struggling to make ends meet
I'll never be able to dig myself out of this hole
I'll have to borrow from my family and face humiliation
I'm going to lose everything
I'll always be on this treadmill
I can't see a way out
Thoughts like these are actually offshoots of a core belief about money that is rooted in LIMITATION. This thought system is part of a collective belief about where money comes from (external sources like a parent, a spouse, a job, or government program). And while money certainly does get transferred to you from these places, they are only avenues through which revenue flows. The true source of your prosperity is your connection to something that goes beyond the understanding of the left hemisphere of the brain. I'm talking about your capacity for endless creative ideas and solutions as well as your ability for simultaneous thinking. Life existed before the invention of green slips of paper and hard metal discs! And yet this confusion about source is so common that you may not even be aware it's operating as part of your psyche.
But don't worry!
Even though your money beliefs are hidden in the shadows of your subconscious mind, your BODY (nervous system) is acutely aware of them and will respond like a frightened horse.
This is your cue to call in the Fear Whisperer.
There’s an awareness inside of you that's neither the Lion (your thoughts) or the Horse (your body). Many people call this the Spirit or the Soul, but I like to think of it as the part that Jill Bolte Taylor experienced when she had a stroke and it wiped out the verbal part of her brain. All that was left was pure consciousness—a state of being that was not restricted by the story-telling (and judgemental) part of her mind. Many practitioners call this THE OBSERVER and it's the part of us that has the ability to observe all aspects of our inner experience.
This is the part you'll need to identify with in order to deal with your fear.
How? Pay attention to the horse!! The minute you feel distressed, do this: 1. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEAR. Don't try to control your thoughts. Don't try to overcome your fear. This is like trying to corner a terrified horse. Instead, ALLOW the fear to be there. Make some room for it. BREATHE. Welcome it like you would a cherished friend. Then say, "I'm afraid." Sit with the truth of this. Then add, "My thoughts about money are scaring me." 2. CONNECT WITH THE PRESENT. There really isn't a lion lurking in the shadows. It's just the mind, going back to the PAST in search of evidence to support your money fear or jumping to the FUTURE to show you all the horrors that await you (you'll end up on the street!) No wonder that horse is so scared. By breathing and connecting to the PRESENT you'll have to admit that you're really okay in this moment and once you do, you'll be able to start leading from a place of wisdom, not worry.
3. LEAD! Any good horse-whisperer will tell you that the best way to deal with a frightened horse is to meet it with calm, relaxed energy. In order to do this for yourself, you'll need to assume a position of LEADERSHIP so you can pull your focus away from the mind and all
its scary stories. THIS TAKES PRACTICE!! But as you learn how to redirect your attention to your wiser, observing self, you'll start to connect to guidance and next-step solutions that are only available in the present moment. Remember: You lead with the power of your ATTENTION.
4. TEACH! As you start gathering evidence of support and guidance regarding your financial situation, you'll be able to teach yourself new ways of relating to money that will help you return to a state of calm—regardless of your external circumstances.
Fear Whispering Tips
Love is always required when dealing with fear. And I find it helps to have a loving script to say to yourself anytime you're feeling panicked. Here's a snippet of one of my own. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.
It's okay, honey. I'm here.
You don't have to do one single thing for the next 10 minutes.
If you need me to, I'll cancel everything today so we can work this out.
You can handle this moment and you don't have to handle anything else.
Let's not forget that we're not alone.
A greater intelligence will guide us.
We don't have to know HOW, we just have to know that a solution is possible.
Just please don't ever see yourself as helpless. You're capable of so much more than you think you are. Don't believe False Fear. You're not a victim, my Lovely. You're a creator. And the world needs you now more than ever. Sending you so much love,
PS. Full credit to Martha Beck for the HorseWhispering Analogy! You can read more about her take on Body-Whispering in her book, The Four Day Win.