The first time I heard the term, “BFF” was back in 2004.
That's when Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton were besties on The Simple Life.
Flash-forward to present-time and you’ll notice they don’t call themselves that anymore.
Many of their fans are curious about this. Interviewers ask pointed questions. Do they still see each other? Are they still best friends?
Their answers are delicate. As if admitting the truth would break a sacred commandment.
It seems like we've all forgotten something.
NOTHING IS PERMANENT.
Insisting that nothing should change is one of the biggest causes of human suffering.
Things DO change. Life is set up that way. People have babies, start companies, lose a parent or a sibling, get cancer.
LIFE changes us. Not all relationships can (or should), withstand the deep process of evolution that’s a natural part of internal growth.
And while it’s a beautiful thing when a friendship DOES stand the test of time, nothing has gone wrong if it doesn’t.
Binary options of either/or—right/wrong, don’t serve us. Unrealistic expectations about relationships often leave us feeling angry and hurt.
But what if endings were just as valid as beginnings? What if we released each other with love?
Maybe, instead of best friends forever, we should just say best friends FOR NOW.
Wouldn’t we savour our connection (or our love, or our partnership), for as long it served the good of all?
In my experience, the answer is yes.
If you're hanging on a little too tightly, maybe all you need is a tweak.
Bring your attention to the present moment.
Not BFF.
BFFN.
Sending you so much love,
P. S. Learning the skills that keep relationships healthy is an important part of growing up. So please know I’m not saying we should be quick to say goodbye, or just drop a relationship when things get hard.
I'm just saying when life shows you it’s time to let go and release the other to their journey, it's offering you an opportunity to experience something greater.