Ever notice how when you're stressed things don't go so smoothly? Like when you can't find your keys and need to get to the airport?
It's hard to access any kind of guidance or wisdom when we're in panic-mode.
Most of us know this by now.
We know that pausing to take some slow, intentional breaths is WAY more productive than blindly tearing the house apart. So why do we start ripping up floorboards and overturning furniture in a flailing attempt to SOLVE THE PROBLEM? Two words: Survival Brain. The primitive part of the brain often reacts to modern-life stressors as if they're life-threatening. Which is why we either freeze or start acting nuts. Neither serves us. Case in point, the wallet story. When James was in his mid 20s (and was in the process of moving), he hired cleaners to get his apartment back to proper condition. While they scrubbed floors and cupboards, he went to Ikea with his Dad to pick up a few items for his new place. But somewhere between the self-serve warehouse and checkout, he lost his wallet. Did he stop and collect himself so he could retrace his steps in a state of presence? Of course he didn't. The cleaners were waiting for him! He had to pay THE CLEANERS!! He HAD TO FIND HIS WALLET!!! Which is exactly what he was half-shouting to his dad as he rushed down the aisles. As you may have guessed, this didn't make for effective looking. So, Ralph put an end to it. "Stop!' he told him. "Go back and give them a cheque. I'll stay here and keep looking." Reluctantly (begrudgingly), James left.
This is called a forced surrender. Have you ever experienced it? When life steps in and forces you to let go? Have you noticed when you do—when you finally relax and stop stressing—things somehow work out, or fall into place? Because of course, that's exactly what happened. With stress-ball James out of the way, things immediately settled. Within minutes, a customer strolled up to Ralph and casually asked, "Are you looking for a wallet?" "Why, yes I am," Ralph said. "Here," the man said, handing him the leather billfold. "I found it on one of the shelves."
You KNOW this is a real thing. Women who've been trying to get pregnant for years suddenly get pregnant the minute they quit trying. I'm not saying this happens for every woman (and my heart goes out to those for whom it doesn't), I'm just saying it's a known phenomenon. You know it. I know it. And we've all had personal experiences of something similar. I've never talked to any human who hasn't. That's why I'm more determined than ever to keep helping myself and others build the mental muscles needed to shift from SURVIVAL BRAIN to FLOW & LET GO BRAIN. Do you want to do this work with me? Do you want to stop fighting the present moment, and switch over to more ease and alignment with the grand orchestration of life? Imagine staying grounded in your body and taking pure, positive action instead of bringing frantic energy (hello drama!) to challenging situations. I just finished a coach training on this very thing and would love to share some of the juicy things I learned while walking you through the process. If you'd like to hear more, CLICK HERE to book a free coffee chat with me and I'll tell you all about it. Let's make this life-thing easier. Let's get into FLOW and LET GO together! Once you start working WITH the reality of your experience (instead of fighting against it) I think you'll be amazed by the unexpected support that starts showing up. And (just a hint), the most surprising support will come from your wise, compassionate, non-judgy self. Sending you so much love,
P.S. When James saw I was featuring him in another article, he asked me to include the fact that (just a week ago) his iphone, credit cards, and driver's license were stolen and he was NOT a stress-case like his younger self.
He wasn't happy it happened, but he used his tools, got into the present moment, soothed his nervous system, and calmly went about cancelling his cards and researching new phones.
Did one magically appear in his hand just because he was cool and collected? Nope.
Except . . . kind of, sort of, YES. The story is still unfolding, but there is already an interesting twist to this event that has both of us going "hmmmmm".
Stay tuned and I'll update you in my next mailing. I love you!